New G.I. Joe, Transformers trailers not even worth posting

They're not. Simple as that.

As of this point in the ad campaign, G.I. Joe looks slightly better than Transformers--which, though--was greatly humbled from a surprisingly high bar set by its teasers.

Again--as of now, I don't know if I can handle watching Transformers in a theater--no trailer nor teaser can be trusted from here on out. G.I. Joe, on the other hand, still has a chance, though a very trashy, almost Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li kind of chance.

Michael Bay, I don't know why I ever stopped hating you. You need to be stopped, at once. I tolerate Bad Boys out of the 'badness' of my heart, but nothing more. As with Tony Scott, the gig's up, Mike.

Head over to /Film or Ain't It Cool if you really want to see them. And make sure you thoroughly question yourself before making even that decision.

Behind the scenes footage from the Expendables!

The good news just keeps rolling on in! Check of this behind the scenes footage straight from the set of the Expendables. It's actually well put together and to see Stallone 'in the zone' is pretty cool in its own right.

Two new posters for Give 'em Hell Malone!

For such a seemingly low-budget film, these posters are pretty impressive, and they only boost my already-insane excitement for this old-school-looking action movie. Courtesy of Film School Rejects.





Give us hell Russell and Tom, give us hell.

Source: /Film

Dolph Lundgren's mere likeness petrifies burglars

Lundgren reuniting with Jean-Claude Van Damme for Universal Soldiers: The Next Generation

This story is simply brimming with awesomeness. According to the Daily Mail, a family photo featuring action star Dolph Lundgren scared off a band of burglars robbing his home near Marbella, Spain. They had tied up and threatened his wife, Anette, with knives asking for cash and jewelry when the mug of Lundgren convinced them otherwise.

They may have turned away simply because of his increased influence as a celebrity, but it's hard to ignore, as the Daily noted, the "6ft 5in karate blackbelt" and intimidating screen presence that Lundgren represents. Either way, more power to Lundgren and his family for avoiding the theft without lifting a finger.

Despite this story's awesomeness, my best wishes still go out to Dolph's wife, Anette, for enduring the whole terrifying ordeal.

Source: /Film

Movies I'm NOT looking forward to

As a sort of morbid inversion to my positive ramblings on upcoming action movies, I've decided to discuss some of the more usual summer shit that's coming our way. I'll try and keep this short, but I'm already getting pissy (I'll also try and look at some of the more promising titles that I had originally neglected).

THE UGLY:

Fighting

Just go watch Lionheart again. For fuck's sake. Modernized, dumbed-down (can an action movie really be dumbed down? Yes-- Nikita made into Point of No Return, and-- other movies to come in this very column!!). And it's called Fighting. Fighting!

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Go watch this instead. The only reason I'd even consider seeing this (apart from the whole debacle it's been through already) is for the random mutants round up as a cheap draw-in for fanboys. Did anyone ever care about Wolverine when he was finally transferred to the screen? Did anyone???

The Limits of Control

It's about that time for Jim Jarmusch to make another misstep. I'm sorry but this just doesn't look inspiring. It feels clumsily thrown together (the trailer, the poster, the story?) with a forcibly indie cast (not even worth listing) and an even more forcibly indie feel. Whatever.

Star Trek

I'd take Brett Ratner over J.J. Abrams any day and I hate Brett Ratner just as much as anyone. I will NEVER understand how people actually enjoyed Mission: Impossible III or the douchebag fest that was Cloverfield or any of his goddamned TV shows. Like Fighting, this looks dumbed down, modernized, and a complete waste of my fucking time.

Angels and Demons

Why am I even listing this? Tom Hanks has become an abomination. Maybe (hopefully) it's just because of that Nicolas Cage-Bangkok Dangerous hair he has going on.

The Taking of Pelham 123

My patience with Tony Scott has reached its fiery end. Not only is he bastardizing a wonderful '70s classic that has unfortunately become famous for directly influencing Quentin Tarantino (more on him later), but he is wasting everyone's time right on down the fucking line from Denzel Washington's to John Travolta's to his own not to mention ours. The gig's up, Tony! I will not turn my head the other way anymore! Oh no!

Public Enemies

Heat gone 1930s and digitial (wtf!?) with the equally overrated Depp and Bale chasing each other around oh-my-fucking-god how I wish I cared and how I wish Michael Mann had something left in the tank.

Inglourious Basterds

Mr. Tarantino's ego has finally reached its head and is going to explode! I hope it does! I've had it! No more patience, no more tolerance. This looks terrible.

THE BAD:

Terminator: Salvation

Looks passable, but has a definite unwarranted hype surrounding it. I mean, I like McG, but doing Terminator? My goodness.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

As nauseatingly horrid as the first one could be, this bigger-stronger-faster kind of sequel just looks too awesome to pass up. Let's hope it delivers.

G.I. Joe: Rise of the Cobra

This has big-budget mess written all over it. Yet, maybe for that very reason/maybe for something else, I still want to see it, and see it I will.

THE GOOD:

The Hurt Locker

Obviously. Essential. Viewing. Nothing. More. To. Say.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

When HP went all dorky-wizarding-shootout on our ass (in other words, bad action movie) in the finale of Order of the Phoenix, I knew the series could only get more awesome from there. And more awesome it has become. I mean, did you ever catch the original international teaser!? (!!!!)

Pandorum

If you've never seen Paul W.S. Anderson's Event Horizon or even Resident Evil then you're probably not very excited for this. If you've never seen Solaris, Alien or the recent Sunshine then you're probably not excited for this. Who doesn't love sci-fi horror? As lowly as he can be, Anderson (producing this time) delivers in this department.


Well, there you have it. The Ugly, the Bad, and the Good-Looking, coming to you this summer in 3D-HD-Digital and with a special talk led by the director, a.k.a., yours truly. Thank you and goodnight.

MakingOf.com

This new site has the potential to be a truly wonderful resource. Natalie Portman is serving as some kind spokesperson for it. There are a round of great interviews to check out from the director (e.g. Ron Howard, Michel Gondry) on down. Make sure to check it out--you won't be disappointed--and it can only get better from here.

Source: Movieline

Review: Fighter

This gal needs to get herself in some action movies...

At its essence, Fighter is a Kung-Fu, Girlfight retread that succeeds upon that film's strengths while learning from its mistakes just the same. That said, the cross-cultural, kick-ass experience which Fighter provides is still fresh enough to carve out its own niche and not only in feminist cinema, but in martial arts as well.

Writer-director Natasha Arthy brings real-life martial artist Semra Turan into the role of Aicha, a high-schooler from Denmark with an itch for Kung-Fu fighting and a disapproving Muslim background. Throw in real-life martial arts choreographer Xian Gao (Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon) in the role of an old-school Kung-Fu Master, and you've got Danish, Turkish, and Chinese ideas coming together in a wondrous, cross-cultural cataclysm that is of course sporadically facilitated by English ("English, please."). This is probably Fighter's greatest strength, as the blending doesn't feel forced and everyone is treated fairly. Apart from this, unfortunately, we see an all-too-familiar formula begin to take place. There is, of course, the father-daughter struggle, as well as the clashing of traditional and modern ideas. There's a love story, a hero and a villain, the reluctance of the mentor to each, etc. etc.: simply put, there's nothing here we haven't seen before, but that's not to say it doesn't work, and that doesn't work well.

The fight scenes have the inevitable Matrix-y whooziness to them, but they still feel very grounded in reality. The martial arts team, including Turan and Gao, really put a professional show, and while it isn't exactly Jackie Chan, it does prove to be solid entertainment. There's a great little fight in the kitchen with varied food, pots, and pans flailing everywhere as two fighters representing two families coming together in marriage duke it out, emotional-visceral style. The inclusion of an interview with Bruce Lee feels a bit tacked-on, but even then, it does add an extra element to the film (probably because of Lee's larger-than-life persona alone). There's also a recurring dream sequence where Aicha fights some sort of mythical ninja—it was clunky and predictable, but a change of pace nonetheless.

In the end, Arthy and Turan may not be quite as talented as their respective Girlfight counterparts in Karyn Kusama and Michelle Rodriguez, but they surely prove their worth here. The supporting players are all great as well; Xian Gao, Denize Karabuda (the mother), and especially Cyron Bjørn Melville, in the role of Emil, all do their part. The film's similarities to Girlfight may be striking, but in an industry that copies itself indefinitely, the legacy that Fighter represents is still a very fresh and welcome one.


*** out of ****

~ Patrick Fryberger

Uncomfortable Plot Summaries

This is the most hilarious thing I've seen in a long time. There's so many funny examples that I can't even decide which to post. Found shamefully--once again, on IMDb.

Also on IMDb is this article from MSN on women and action movies. It was a so-so read, but I might as well post it.

And since I'm on a roll here posting other people's material--over at Movieline, a note on Jackie Chan, as well as the scariest collaboration ever.

Slate article on Jason Statham

A decent article from Slate on the rise in popularity of Jason Statham. Found conveinently on the IMDb hit list.

Again, I'm sorry things have been so slow--I've been very busy finishing up with school, but they should pick up again pretty soon here, at least until I head off to New Zealand.

That's all I have for now.

New Armored, Harry Potter HBP trailers

Armored is a film I was considering placing amongst my anticipated action films for the next year (see the previous post), but I ultimately decided against it. This surprise trailer released on Apple would've changed my decision, though unfortunately it seems to tell the whole story. Either way, the film looks a tad more decent than I had expected, and I'll be excited to see it when it comes out.




Also, yet another trailer for the half-a-year delayed (way to distract the fans, Warner) Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. That quibble aside, nobody does in better when it comes to trailers than Harry Potter. Seriously, the people behind these are professionals, through and through.

Check it out here.


Source: /Film